On Coffee and Feelings

Most days, when I drink coffee, I feel pretty whacked out afterwards. Yet, I still insist on having my cup of brew each morning after I put the babe down for her nap and I get to my desk to start my work. I like coffee. It tastes great and there is nothing quite like the feeling of cupping my hand around a warm mug and sipping while perusing Facebook, answering emails, editing images, etc. It is probably one of my most favorite sensations ever...

But here's the thing...I can physically feel the coffee doing damage to my body. From the acidity (and my already high-acid reflux propensity) to the way it messes with my blood sugar to the occasional digestive issues...me and coffee really make zero sense.

So what gives?

I've tried to quit it many times before and I keep coming back. I will go cold turkey for a few days and it's totally fine. I experience really minimal withdrawals for, like, a day and then it's nbd. I quit it all together during my pregnancy and had to slowly start drinking it again because my body was reacting badly to it. So I have thought long and hard about why in Sam Hill I would willingly walk back in to the java vortex...

And all I can come up with is the feeling I get when I am drinking it. 

Sipping coffee while writing at my desk with the crisp morning air breezing in through the window is my kind of heaven.

I feel more creative, laser-focused and flat out legit when my little cup o' brew perches next to my keyboard (insert instagram shot of super on-trend-vintage-mug-awesomeness-high-productivity-sess).

It also represents early morning, family togetherness, sitting around sipping and clutching and laughing and snuggling...it feels like home.

It feels safe. It feels like everything is OK.

It feels like the feeling I want most of all and long for in the spaces in between.

So what's the point of me sharing my inner-coffee-conflict with you? It occurred to me that we all have a "thing." And this thing makes us feel a certain way that we REALLY REALLY love.  

I realized that in the process of giving this "thing" all of the credit for making us feel a certain way, we are in effect telling ourselves that we can't do it on our own.  

I am basically telling myself that I can't be super on-point, focused, productive, cozy and OK without a cup of coffee nestling nearby.

And, so I'm calling bullshite...

Why can't we have those amazing feelings without...a cup o' speed, sip of whiskey, drag off a cigarette, hour-long workout, bag o' chips, pint o' ben & jerry's, insert your "thing" here...to get us there?

Can those feelings exist without the crutch?

I am willing to bet they can...so I am going to give it another spin. I'm going to skip the coffee for the next few days and see how it feels. I am going to start by taking a look at the Food Babe's "Do You Know What's Really in Your Tea?" blog post for some guidance on where to begin for a warm cup/no damage replacement and I'm going to focus on the good feelings that already exist and qualify them as such.

Here's to feeling amazing!